so u say u like, loved me for real wwhat did u do with it how does it fair now big fat pussy big fat liar
big fat pussy
big fat liar
big fat pussy
big fat liar
big fat pussy
big fat coward
do u think im proud of what i did cus im not like im ashamed. Don't even talk 2 me for now I won't talk to u
big fat pussy
big fat liar
big fat coward
big fat pussy
ugh its like caught in my throat








*note: i am a mid-large fat agender femme lesbian and longterm survivor of fatmisogynistic abuse, im not sure how i feel about this song to this day because i wrote it from bitterness following/during? two friendship breakups where I was navigating fatmisogynistic harm but also my own self-harm/people-pleasing in a fatmisogynistic context, learned roles of 'not needing anything' and my value lying exclusively in services and nurturance I provide, and so was bitter and processing all of that when freestyling these lyrics which in this context were meant vengefully and to affirm my feelings. and because i am using 'big fat pussy,' something that has been used against me all my life and saying it in a way that felt affirming during the creative process, making this song helped me. but anyway "big fat [insert anything]" isn't something people should say if they aren't fat. i don't like the way that 'big fat pussy' next to 'big fat liar' and 'big fat coward' reaffirms the myth that 'big fat' or specifically 'fat' and bigness is anything negative or that should be grouped with words like liar and coward, which are distinctly negative traits. I was trying to play with and take pride in how it's supposed to be a coded bad thing but is just my experience and a part of me. But idk if that comes thru when you can't see me or know how I meant it. song is kinda not my thing now bc I worry about putting fat people in danger w these lyrics. and also the vengefulness toward skinny people not getting me or loving me is weird to me now that im happy and taking better care of myself and don't pour my fat gay heart into many frivolous relationships with thin people. I keep this up bc I like the beat and the concept still and because it reminds me I can use music as an outlet for all kinds of things, including vengeance for a perceived injury, as well as abuse. Which i need to be mindful of. I want my art to breathe life back into me when I'm empty and to ground and affirm me, and if I'm lucky to rouse people to feel that way too, to have more empathy and love for themselves and their experiences.*