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love you

by liv

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Yang
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1.
drive 02:39
lyrics
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drive "I don’t fight I leave I don't fight I leave" PLease, i want to be buried by ur husband with ur money All ur money on me Waste this fuckin body seriously. Every time that u drove away from me, I had to get so high to go to sleep "I don’t fight I leave" ...I never told u that I need u ...so you never knew so I’m off the hook with u But god I wanna be fought with now I wanna be cut up I wanna be bagged up I wanna be sunk in mud Fuck my human body, I’m a dead bitch’s ghost You pass through in your red car When you drive home Fuck my pretty dreaming Sinking feelings Every time that u Drove away from me I had to get so high to go to sleep
2.
RSD (bounce) 02:44
lyrics
so u say u like, loved me for real wwhat did u do with it how does it fair now big fat pussy big fat liar big fat pussy big fat liar big fat pussy big fat liar big fat pussy big fat coward do u think im proud of what i did cus im not like im ashamed. Don't even talk 2 me for now I won't talk to u big fat pussy big fat liar big fat coward big fat pussy ugh its like caught in my throat *note: i am a mid-large fat agender femme lesbian and longterm survivor of fatmisogynistic abuse, im not sure how i feel about this song to this day because i wrote it from bitterness following/during? two friendship breakups where I was navigating fatmisogynistic harm but also my own self-harm/people-pleasing in a fatmisogynistic context, learned roles of 'not needing anything' and my value lying exclusively in services and nurturance I provide, and so was bitter and processing all of that when freestyling these lyrics which in this context were meant vengefully and to affirm my feelings. and because i am using 'big fat pussy,' something that has been used against me all my life and saying it in a way that felt affirming during the creative process, making this song helped me. but anyway "big fat [insert anything]" isn't something people should say if they aren't fat. i don't like the way that 'big fat pussy' next to 'big fat liar' and 'big fat coward' reaffirms the myth that 'big fat' or specifically 'fat' and bigness is anything negative or that should be grouped with words like liar and coward, which are distinctly negative traits. I was trying to play with and take pride in how it's supposed to be a coded bad thing but is just my experience and a part of me. But idk if that comes thru when you can't see me or know how I meant it. song is kinda not my thing now bc I worry about putting fat people in danger w these lyrics. and also the vengefulness toward skinny people not getting me or loving me is weird to me now that im happy and taking better care of myself and don't pour my fat gay heart into many frivolous relationships with thin people. I keep this up bc I like the beat and the concept still and because it reminds me I can use music as an outlet for all kinds of things, including vengeance for a perceived injury, as well as abuse. Which i need to be mindful of. I want my art to breathe life back into me when I'm empty and to ground and affirm me, and if I'm lucky to rouse people to feel that way too, to have more empathy and love for themselves and their experiences.*
3.
HUSH 04:39
lyrics
.CW CSA
4.
ty 03:33
lyrics
THANK U FOR THE RIDE JIM NEVER WANNA BE WITHOUT U ALWAYS WANNA BE BESIDE U IF I'M IN THE PLACE THAT WE COME FROM OXLEY IS A NICE PLACE (FOR DRINKING) HOME IS A VERY HOSTILE PLACE (FOR EXISTING) OXLEY HAS A NICE VIEW OF THE LAKE PRETTY DECENT PLACE TO DISSOCIATE AND U ARE SUCH AN ALLY U ARE SUCH A REAL ONE TY FOR LOVING MOTORCYCLES TY FOR HATING PEDOPHILES CEDAR CREEK REMINDS ME OF MY LIFE CEDAR CREEK REMINDS ME OF MY RAPES CEDAR ISLAND BEACH OF MY RAPISTS MIKE, VIC JAY MATT AUSTIN AND DOEY CEDAR CREEK REMINDS ME I'M SCARRED AS FUCK I'M GAY AS FUCK I HATE MYSELF AND I'M BROKE BUT U MAKE IT EASIER, U MAKE MY LIFE NICER, U MAKE MY LIFE PRETTY, TYSM FOR BELIEVING IN ME U ARE LIKE A BOWL OF SOUP U ARE LIKE AN OLD TV U ARE LIKE A SMALL FAMILY GROCER WE ARE LIKE A SMALL FAMILY GROCERY TRIP WE ARE LIKE A MOVIE (ABOUT TOMBOYS) WE ARE LIKE A BIKE-RIDE WE ARE LIKE A FOUR-WHEELER WE LIKE THE GREENWAY UR MY RATTY OLD ST CLAIR TSHIRT UR MY LITTLE TURTLE CREEK :3 UR MY TALL BIG WILLOW TREE UR MY ARCHITECT/DREAMER TY FOR OBSERVING, TY FOR ALWAYS LEARNING & BUILDING & TY FOR ALWAYS HELPING ME UR THE RIGHT BIG BROTHER 4 ME (REPEATING) SORRY IT'S SO CORNY
5.
baby queen <3 01:13
lyrics
i spill my heart out on the floor 4 u ur so pure n so cool i leave my whole heart open 4 u i rlly admire u i spill my heart out on the floor 4 u u never make it weird 4 me u always are so trustworthy u always are a blessing to be near i spill my heart out on the floor 4 u u never make me weird, u do it too i feel so grateful that i know u i feel so grateful that i know u and anything i have is urs too pls come over and see me anything i have is urs too pls come to the tree
6.
honestly 04:09
lyrics
Not everything i say to u is going to fit perfectly for u and I'm just hoping to be honest with you because I think you deserve it. Not everything that ur man feels needs to be known by me, I just wanted to be there for you. One day I looked up (and I realized shit was fucked up) and I thought "I should fuck off" but I didn't. I just wanted to be loving on you but I honestly don't know what I was thinking. I wish a number of wishes that I know are silly now, I will indulge just one: wish you could always have treated me like I am a person you feel is important. Tonight I will stay in and clean myself, tomorrow I'll go out a walking and a crying. The next day I'll read and I'll read and I'll read and I'll read. I'll miss u and think of u sometimes. Next year if you never tell me about how u care, I will be long gone, long. It's okay if you cannot find it in you to tell me now, it's okay if it's all over now.

about

songs i made this week with dollar store earbuds while suffering thru my period. <3

corny, soft, <//3gay, hopeful, bitchy, hurt, pop, polya, platonic, family, and other vibes of love

cw: csa & abuse, fantasies of death

credits

released October 27, 2020

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